I started writing this blog post about a date night outfit to go with a picture I took on my coffee table with some cute fashion copywriting stuff (that’s my day job) about finding “the perfect outfit for date night”.
Then I got to thinking about the last “date night” I went on with my spouse.
If you’re in a relationship or married, you know what I mean.
When was that?
What did we do? I think we took an Uber to an early dinner at a little whole in the wall Korean restaurant and then got ice cream. We were home by 9pm.
And that was like… a few weeks ago? Shit.
Did I “dress up”? Did I put on something sexy? Or did I wear my “I’m leaving the house in something other than yoga pants” outfit (still leggings!)—plus extra perfume + lipstick? Did I grab my “evening bag”?
After writing that out, it sounds like the only thing I really do for date night is make myself feel prettier.
I need to feel that electric confidence and intrigue that drew my husband to me in the first place.
Putting on a little extra lipstick and perfume somehow transforms me into a woman that can silently command a room to look at her when she walks in just with her presence alone (you know the type).
But I digress.
Back to date night.
First date jitters
Think about a first date you’ve been on.
Remember that sweaty, shaky, anxious yet so-goddamn-excited feeling? Remember how you felt when you saw them for the first time (good or bad)? That first date… It felt kinda good, didn’t it?
When we’re single, going on a date fills us with this warm excitement (I think that’s dopamine btw) filled with all the infinite possibilities—are you going to kiss? Is there a future with that person? What does your future hold? Are they the one?
Even if it wasn’t a good first date, the anticipation still felt good, right?
If it did go well… game on.
Before the first time you touch, before any kind of intimacy is establish, it’s like a forcefield between you. You can feel the distance.
Then (after an undetermined amount of time because every relationship is different), someone breaks through that energy field (helloooo first kiss!) and then all hell breaks loose.
You are all over each other and you’re pumped (with endorphins).
You want your hands on them at all times (and vice versa).
It feels like electricity. It feels like magic.
But… after each date, sometimes, that feeling goes away a little.
You still want to make out every time you see them, but the feeling dwindles so it’s only during sexy time or when your saying hello/goodbye, then ebbs and flows until you only put your tongue in their mouth every so often.
Shit gets real… boring
Congrats, you’ve made it to a real relationship!
Spoiler alert: real life is kinda boring.
Somewhere, somehow, we remember that our real lives are actually incredibly boring most of the time.
Hitting up the grocery store on Sunday afternoon? Boring. Going to the gym after work? Pretty boring. Bringing your leftovers for lunch? Yeah, boring.
We don’t mean for it to happen, but without realizing it, our relationships get monotonous too.
Segmented romance and “date night”
So, we pick a night, maybe two weeks from now, and call it “date night”. We make a reservation at a nice restaurant—we bat our eyelashes at each other and hold hands. Our hands fit together like they’ve just met but always knew each other. It feels so good.
Why don’t we do this more often?
Well, we have to go grocery shopping tomorrow morning, I have some work to do in the afternoon and a busy week ahead. He’s been working late a lot and I’ve been sick lately.
So, I don’t know. We just pick a night and call it date night.
But every night is date night!
Just kidding. We’re married.
It feels just like falling in love
One afternoon, we’ll decide to turn off Netflix and go on an adventure instead.
Seeing somewhere/something new always makes me feel like I’m falling in love for the first time.
We’ll drive out to the coast on old roads lined with new memories. We’ll see the ocean waves for the first time in months and the salty ocean air hugs our bodies.
With our feet in the sand and our hair flapping in the ocean breeze, we’ll lock lips and it will feel… electric.
Like it’s new again.
Like how we used to kiss when we first met.
That’s the feeling I want forever.
Don’t you want that?
How do you make time for each other to feel special in between our day/night jobs?
What’s the last date you went on?
Coffee table: West Elm Box Table
Perfume: Chanel Coco Noir
Lipstick: Chanel Rouge Coco Shine
Lipgloss: Chanel Rouge Coco Gloss in Bourgeoisie
Engagement Ring: Brilliant Earth
Wedding Ring: Brilliant Earth
Ring: David Yurman
Earrings: Tiffany & Co.