Stop Trying To Be Everything

Recently, I had a conversation with my good friend and previous colleague, Melissa De La Rosa (@thatonefashionblogger) of That One Fashion Blog. She said,

“I need to also work on my mindset that if I’m not doing what needs to be done and being productive 100%, that I’m weak.”

Doesn’t that sound familiar?

I see this in so many of my friends and strong women I know.

We’re all trying to be everything but forget about the one thing we need to focus on the most: ourselves.

You work all day, checking Instagram and Facebook and iMessages and emails in between online shopping and asking three of your closest friends to proofread your email to your colleague to make sure it doesn’t sound too bitchy.

You plan your meals, take your supplements, fit in your workout between sips of morning coffee or before happy hour drinks. Maybe someday you’ll love your body.

After work, you get dip manicures and do meal prep. You do face masks every night while you drink rosè in your bath tub and meditate with the Calm app between responding to Instagram DMs.

Ugh. This is tiring.

Maybe you should quit your job and travel the world and get a work remote job so you can find yourself in Bali and then fall in love.

Maybe you should start a blog. That’s what everyone is doing now, right? 10 Trends For Spring! 25 Best Drug Store Nude Nail Polish Colors For Under $15 That I Googled! The Complete Travel Guide To This Place I Spent 2 Days In!

Maybe if your Instagram follower number goes up, your salary will too. A Sunday well spent brings a week full of content, right?! Ugh.

Maybe if you get promoted at the job you’ve been at for 2 years with no upward movement will finally recognize you for your hard work. Maybe someday you’ll have the perfect, high-powered boss job you’ve always wanted.

Oh, and you have to be the perfect friend/girlfriend/wife too.

You feel like you need to be everything to everyone. Do everything. Stay busy all the time—because hustling is how you win right? Hard work pays off, so they say..

But aren’t you tired? Isn’t it tiring trying to be perfect all the time?

Is everyone this tired?

Does any of that sound familiar?

Aren’t you exhausted?

I’m exhausted.

I have an amazing husband, a passport with stamps from at least 10 different countries in the last year, I’m a size 4, have a budding super successful career, an adorable pug… and I had a nervous breakdown in October. I learned that you can still crumble even though you have everything, so stop trying to do everything and take care of yourself!

For years, I swept my feelings and issues under the rug—I ignored them and replaced them with BeachBody Workouts, Low Carb Diets, career advancement courses, blogging, networking, Instagramming 24/7. I felt so horrible. Tired all the time. Miserable.

Here’s something I wish someone would have told me sooner:

Taking care of yourself is work that needs to be done too.

Slow down. Take a deep breath. Let yourself do nothing sometimes. Just be.

You don’t need another project to work on.

You don’t need the perfect man that checks off all the boxes to be happy.

You are beautiful, no matter what size you are. Even if your arms are kinda fat and your eyes have huge dark circles under them and your hair hasn’t been washed in two days. IT’S OKAY.

You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for.

Give yourself permission to just be.

Give yourself permission to not be in control of everything.

Give yourself permission to live.

Taking care of yourself is work that needs to be done too.

Go ahead, go to therapy. Go on a walk. Travel alone. Move across the country. Leave your phone at home. Quit the job you hate.

You don’t need to be everything. You just need to be you.

Author: Becca Risa Luna

Seattle-based fashion writer and personal essayist. Likes designer handbags, glaring openness, and subtle vulgarity.

15 thoughts

    1. Yeah, exactly! The internet will be here for you whenever you’re ready, but you need to take care of YOU first! I like setting a timer for ten minutes while I drink my morning coffee and put my phone far away.


    1. Thank you so much for reading. It’s so hard, but so necessary. I know I get this feeling that I *need* to keep updating things on a schedule or a regular cadence, but in reality, the internet isn’t sitting around waiting for you to update anything. Your readers and friends will be there whenever you decide to post.


  1. I impressed, I need to say. Actually hardly ever do I encounter a weblog thateach educative and entertaining, and let me let you know, you could have hit the nail on the head. Your concept is outstanding; the issue is one thing that not enough persons are talking intelligently about. I am very completely happy that I stumbled across this in my seek for one thing referring to this.


  2. A formidable share, I just given this onto a colleague who was doing a little evaluation on this. And he the truth is bought me breakfast as a result of I found it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the treat! However yeah Thnkx for spending the time to discuss this, I really feel strongly about it and love reading more on this topic. If doable, as you change into expertise, would you thoughts updating your blog with more particulars? It is extremely useful for me. Big thumb up for this blog publish!


  3. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with some pics to drive the message home a little bit, but other than that, this is excellent blog. A fantastic read. I will certainly be back.


  4. I don’t even know how I finished up right here, however I thought this post was once great. I don’t recognise who you’re however certainly you are going to a well-known blogger in the event you are not already 😉 Cheers!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s