One Cup At A Time — Philz Coffee

Mint Mojito at Philz Coffee

Me: I like to live my life one cup at a time. I try to enjoy each moment as it passes.

Also me: HAHA yeah right I’m like 10 cups ahead of everything, all the time

It’s Not Always Depression by Hilary Jacobs Hendel with the best book cover design ever, black and white striped book cover

I’ve been reading a book called “It’s Not Always Depression,” by Hilary Jacobs Hendel, recommended to one of my best friends, Andrew DiFiore, LSW in West Hartford, CT.

Below, you’ll find a few passages I’ve highlighted into my own personal Notes. These are passages that shook me with a realization.

“People have a fundamental need for transformation. We are wired for growth and healing. And we are wired for self-righting, and resuming impeded growth. We have a need for expansion and liberation of the self, the letting down of defensive barriers, and the dismantling of the false self. We are shaped by a deep desire to be known, seen, and recognized, as we strive to come into contact with parts of ourselves that are frozen.

We all crave support, care, and understanding. we all yearn to be seen, to be felt, to be heard, and to be understood. And yet, when this experiences unexpectedly materialize before us, we often respond to them with distrust. AEDP (accelerated experiential dynamic psychotherapy) works to help people overcome their blocks to taking the good stuff that comes from good relationships. We help people explore: What does care feel like when it’s taken in? What does it feel like in the body to feel understood? In this process, we often understand why that which is so desired is often so blocked. in this manner, care, love, empathy, admiration, understanding, and feeling seen can be truly felt.”

“Our goal as people is to get to an “openhearted state of authentic self” where we are calm, courageous, connected, compassionate, confident, courageous, and feel clear.

We feel that way when we acknowledge our core emotions (fear, anger, sadness, disgust, joy, excitement and sexual excitement), and overcome our defenses (things we do to avoid feeling) and inhibitory emotions (anxiety, shame & guilt).

There is so much physical and mental activity we can observe in our own bodies. People have all sorts of meaningful physical sensations that we never pay attention to because we are busy moving and thinking to notice. These sensations make change. Slowing down sets the stage for change and transformation because these sensations can be allowed to flow. Whirrs, whirls, vibrations, tingles, and streaming sensations are common physical manifestations of core emotional processing and healing.

The more we notice, the more we get to know the nuances of our emotional experiences and the more confidence we gain to repeat the process.

Wellness is a by-product of our ability to tolerate and embrace our internal experiences.”

What are you reading right now? Have you saved notes from any books recently that really got you?

Let me know in the comments.



Author: Becca Risa Luna

Seattle-based fashion writer and personal essayist. Likes designer handbags, glaring openness, and subtle vulgarity.

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